Larry vs. Mahmoud

From: Iranian.com

Once again, the cowardice and ignorance of modern American journalism allowed the wrong idea to seem like a fantastic solution.

Well, all I can say is, that I'm just glad I ate before I sat down to watch last week's CNN Larry King interview with Iran's pseudo President Ahmadinejad, or as I now call him A@*H&%$#.

Hours before the interview, the "submit your questions" page of CNN that was sent around the internet for Iranians to fill in, was most surely filled in, with great submissions that King could have chosen any one of to really put the non-leader of Iran on the spot with, and grind the logic-failure of Iran's great Islamic proposition with. Instead though, King showed why he is the epitome of the lackluster, ignorant, lazy, and "feed the beast your children", of American journalism.

Why we would expect anything short of a "if it bleeds it leads" mentality from King is beyond me. King seems to be beyond the twilight of his career, apparently more concerned with the state if his corned beef and pastrami on rye sandwich at his local daily deli visit, and when he is finally going to die, than leaving any lasting legacy of journalistic integrity through insightful observation and putting evil on the spot.

No, capitulate instead, Larry. By all means!

As if verily mastered by Iran's ministry of dis-information's head puppet master, each question was masterfully delivered with the softest of touches, so that A@*H&%$# could gay-swing and smack each one out of the proverbial ballpark, like Barry Bonds after a freshly injected cocktail of Hank Aaron's man juice, with a Babe Ruth DNA chaser. If he was a girly Bonds.

Moronic questions like; (I am paraphrasing here for effect, not accuracy, if you want accuracy you'll have to be bi-lingual, listen to both versions the sexy English translation by that sexy female translator, against his own words in Farsi . For now, trust me, here's the gist.)

King: "Do you think there can be peace with the US and Iran?"

Obviously A@*H&%$# answered, "Yes". But with the brilliant added tome, "Of course the hostility is not from us! It is America that is hostile. We have no issues with the American people, but when America uses the language of war, we have to be ready to defend ourselves."

More idiocy by King: "Has the President (Bush) responded to your letter?" (Referring to the moronic rambling letter by A@*H&%$# asking Americans to "Can't we all just get along" as long as you essentially convert to and embrace Eslam)

Of course A@*H&%$#'s answer would be, "No". which makes it look like A@*H&%$# is the peace loving end of the donkey, and has reached out his hand.

King goes on to dig himself into the ground even further, "Why do you think Bush, Obama, or McCain don't want to talk to you?"

A@*H&%$#: "You should ask them, we are willing to talk."

Brilliant.


King: "You would agree that they consider you to be a hostile state, would you not?"

A@*H&%$#: "Iran has never ever attacked anyone, the only war we have been involved in was to defend ourselves against Iraq, which everyone knows was encouraged and instigated by America. Our defense was our legal right, our human right."

Genius.

King: "Can you tell us what you are doing with regards to Nuclear weapons?"

A@*H&%$#: "Look, it is fundamentally against our fundamentalist religion to seek weapons of mass destruction of any kind."

Can this guy run for US President? Because with answers like that, I think he could win.

King finally got down and dirty, asking a series of questions on the Middle east conflict, even though it was only to stand up for his fellow Jews by asking the consummate question that no Israeli lobbyist has ever been able to get an answer to: "But you will allow Israel to exist?"

To which A@*H&%$# masterfully responded: "Look, this is something for the people of Palestine to decide. There should be an election, a democratic election, and the people should be allowed to decide for themselves. The thing to remember is that it is not the fault of the Palestinians that the Jews were displaced by Europeans and the West. This is like throwing a party for yourselves, using the pocket of someone else to pay for it."

I have said it before, and I will say it again, other than China, Iran is the smartest country on the planet right now. They have convinced the world of the validity of an obvious invalid position, through expert showmanship like this, the new naked Persian Emperor, against even the most obvious opponent, will in fact convince you to agree with their ill-argued proposition, feigned as it may be.

Meanwhile China has convinced the world that it's oppressive regime and subjugation of a third of the world's people, is in fact the happiest place on earth, with a full blown child labor factory knockoff of a Disneyland theme park as Disneycountry, complete with backlot secret stage doors, and "Characters" you can only take pictures with, but cannot talk to.

Next time Larry, if you can get yourself to take off your Israeli Boy Scouts suspenders for a minute, consider asking A@*H&%$# this question: "Mr. President, if Iran's constitution prohibits amendments, and if all of the power rests in the hands/turban of the Supreme Leader for life, Ayatollah Khamenei, who has the power to declare war, set foreign policy, and who the military, the secret police, and the Revolutionary Guard of Iran reports to, and who also appoints the president of Iran, a president in name only, that has no decision-making power whatsoever, what pray tell, are you doing here? And a quick follow up- Can you arrange to have Mr. Khamanei come here next time, because this is a UN meeting of world leaders, and clearly you can't even fix a parking ticket in Tehran."

That would make it really "lead if it bleeds", because it is very likely A@*H&%$#'s head would explode. Live. In HD. That would even put that whippersnapper blackberry blogging punk Anderson Cooper in his place!