War!

Omid Parsi January 31, 2007

NEW YORK -- As of late, I have been reading quite a bit of emotional "Vaaveila" from our fellow iranian.com contributors regarding the increasing likelihood of an imminent US military attack on the IRI.
While I think (and hope) that this threat will never go beyond heated rhetorical muscle-flexing between the USA and IRI and will most likely end in some sort of cop-out, here are three analgesic thoughts and reflections in case I turn out to be wrong:

1)* Take a look here. If you did not already know (or somehow forgot), you may learn (or recall) that firing on bound and blindfolded captives, especially teenagers and pregnant women, is an Islamic pastime and a virtue (if not a turn-on!), in short an integral part of the newfound pride in Iranian revolutionary identity. Now, isn't that a soothing thought?! ...

2) In case you are a real compassionate pacifist and worry about the priceless lives of our brave and bearded guardians of the Islamic Revolution, then try to also find some sympathy for the cockroaches in your kitchen before you call the exterminator... They are no less pure and innocent than our warrior baseejis!

3) If we resist and fight the USA with the same zeal and bravery that the Persians once fought to hold back the savage bedouin Arabs and their idea of enlightenment ... then nobody will get hurt!

Remember that even if we lose in battle, as we have nearly always in the past, we can prevail by "absorbing" the new captors, by making their values our own and, hopefully, at least some of our values their own to forge a new form of enlightenment: One which values popcorn and MTV at least as much as torture and execution and grants the same liberties to people of all walks of life: Mullahs, vigilantes, thugs and others.

Now how bad is that?!

*Les noms de 4415� prisonniers ex�cut�s lors des ex�cutions massives de 1988 dans les ge�les du r�gime islamique (Names of 4415 Political Prisoners who were massacred by mass executions in 1988 by the Islamic Republic--by no means an exhaustive list)