An Exchange on Temporary Marriages in Iran

Nazy:
In fact temporary marriages are a lot more complicated, yet a lot simpler than that. Without delving into the politics of it, and the roots of why it is even necessary to have Sigheh(temporary marriage as short as one day to several years according to the contract) in Iran (each of which will require their own five pages), I will try to answer you as best as I understand it without too much fanfare.Let's put the cases where it is only for a few hours and it is nothing but sanctioned prostitution, aside. That is what it is and does not need further explanation--World's oldest profession, only legitimized through religion.

There is another group of women who are uneducated, poor, and desperate, and they may become a man's second wife to gain his financial support, and this is done through temporary marriages. A sad situation, but given the alternatives (prostitution itself becoming one of the few options available to those women) this might actually work out for some.

This, I believe, is the only really degrading application of Sigheh, because those women think they are "married" to somebody, without real rights, and without complete rights for their children from these "marriages."Among the more educated and emancipated Iranians, however, temporary marriages are very prevelant these days.

This is where couples want to co-habit unofficially (without a formal marriage, as is customary in the west). A temporary marriage license enables them to live together without the possibility of harassment by the government who would interfere in such matters. Would you believe it if I told you that when some young couples fall in love these days, because of the high rate of divorce, their parents many times encourage their children to go live with each other before they decide to get married? Doing this is only possible if the couple obtains a temporary marriage license. Even when they don't want to live together but want to have active sexual relationships and travel inside Iran together, dating Iranian couples receive a temporary marriage license which enables them to check into hotel rooms (hotels won't let an "unrelated" man and woman to check in together.)

You will agree that this is not prostitution, but a practical solution to a problem.The long and short of it, Serendip, is that in today's Iran Sigheh is not all about prostitution (receiving financial consideration in return for sex). It is, in many cases, all about sex, and not about marriage or money. And as I understand it, a lot more sex is going on there than is publicly acknowledged! Are you surprised? The world's youngest nation, remember that one. Like you, I used to hate Sigheh with a passion. Under the circumstances in Iran, I have adjusted my thinking and think that it might actually be a blessing in disguise in some cases. I hope this is helpful.

serendip said...
wow, that was such an eye-opening revelation to me. It might be economically cost efficient for the society as a whole as a self-preservation mechanism but I doubt very much it enhances dignity, self-respect, self-control, or personal or spiritual growth of any kind.
August 7, 2007 12:20 PM


SERENDIP said...
I also should add that this practice will have devastating effect on the moral and collective conscious and fabric of the society in the long run.


Nazy said...
Salam Serendip! Please don't get me wrong! In no way do I condone temporary marriage as an acceptable moral or social concept, given a choice. For one thing a "temporary marriage" is an oxymoron. How can you have a "temporary union" or a "temporary family?"For another, having this fake "marriage" promotes duplicity in the society and mocks the importance of committed relationships and families.And even when it is done for access to consensual sex, as I reported, it is done in reaction to the government's "carte blanche" for asking what you and another person are doing in the privacy of your bedroom--a violation of people's basic human rights. As Shamloo said:...dahanat ra mibooyandkeh mabada gofteh bashidoostat daram....(sorry if the poem is not quoted correctly here, I don't have access to my book right now to fix it.)Anyhow, yes, I do believe all of the above will continue to degrade people's values (ironically their religious values) and to make a mockery of committed relationships. Any positive things I said about the routine is strictly from a "survival" point of view.Take care my friend.--End exchange

This practice is so wrong on so many levels that one can write a book about it. If all governments (especially, the mullahs government who own the country and all of its revenues) absolved their responsibility in tackling unemployment and poverty then the world would be one gigantic brothel...

Note: This practice is more popular among the Shi'ite not the Sunni muslims. However, Sunni muslims practice Polygamy just the same and divorce is the exclusive right of the husband in both traditions. Shi'ite make up around 400 million out of the 1.5 billion muslims.


Previously:
Iran: Brand New Sharia-Approved Temporary Marriage website.

Update from Kamangir: According to a new bill just suggested by the government to the parliament, men do not have to ask the permission of their wife for a second marriage. According to the bill which is titled “Support for Families”, men only need to prove their economic power for the second marriage [Persian]. A member of the opposition in the parliament called the bill “a disaster” [Persian].